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Essays Confession of a Writer

10reason

Apprentice
𝖩𝗈𝗂𝗇𝖾𝖽
Apr 13, 2021
𝖬𝖾𝗌𝗌𝖺𝗀𝖾𝗌
22
𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗍 𝖲𝖼𝗈𝗋𝖾
14
𝖯𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗍𝗌
13
Shekels
₪3
Some things may happen without knowing, yep you heard me, here are some things that I want to share for all of you, it’s okay if some of you ignore this because it’s nothing just full of something, Nah just kidding.

A lot of you know the real story about my pen name or some of them don’t hmmmmmmmm…….okay for all those who don't know what’s behind my name when I write ahmmmmm…here’s a little summary behind it.

Way back 2005 I met a girl through chat tv and her name is Beverly, at first were destined to be together, same month, same year and same age. I thought all of it is forever between the two of us but some things happen without my expectation.

It’s natural when two opposite s*x is in a relationship and keep on arguing, there’s a reason why for me it’s about a misunderstanding.

A certain explanation about the situation after that back to reality isn’t it?

Some things happen over and over after one month, she keeps on nagging even simple things she scold me, I know I love her that’s why I don’t want to argue and apologize but all the things I made is just another story, in the end she broke up with me even in the first place her reason is she wants to be single in short, she want to rest for a while and enjoy the things around her but that’s not it actually, her second reason is her cousin doesn’t like me according to her while I’m talking to her thru the phone but deep inside of me it’s not her main reason at all, after that non-sense conversation I ask myself why? Why it always happens to me, I give everything in the name of love but the consequences are unexpected and painful memories, every day I woke up my mind is blank or should I say totally spaced because of things happen, some of my friends always say “it’s alright” for them but for me it’s really…really..really hard.

Hard to start over because of the pain that left thru my personality, after having a hard time to recover I tried to view her account in a social network and some things happen again, even we didn’t talk I discover something, she’s in a relationship again with another guy or should I say best friend ouch!

After what I discover about her I felt more hatred, in short, she’s making fun of me and our relationship is just full of lies even in the first place I don’t want to accept it cuz I’m hurt, the wrong doings that make my heart shattered like glass.

Even I hate her I made a decision, it’s time to move on but there’s one thing that It became very to clear to me, even were in a relationship that time she’s in a relationship with her best friend, in short, I’m just a spare time it sucks!

After what happened I made a decision, I need to forget everything about her, you heard me.
Some things happen again while walking home and the sun doesn’t shine, rain starts to fall from above, I didn’t run what I did is walk slowly until I get home, while walking I’m thinking even my head is blank, I look in the heaven and stare, I feel every drop of rain coming from my face, every time I watch them fall from the ground I felt something, I’m not okay but there’s one thing I do, I bury all my emotion thru the rain all of it, that time something pop out on my head, she has no reason why she left me, she has but already three, not one, not ten but only three, until now she didn’t know about what happened to me right now cuz I don’t care anymore because it’s just another sad ending that cannot become a happy ending for me, all of it is just history.
that's the reason behind my pen name, a girl named Beverly is the reason why I became a writer.
 
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